My Boyfriend Just Broke Up With Me

If your boyfriend just broke up with you, chances are good you are out of control emotionally. You have all these questions in your head, most of which start why or how.  How could he, why did he?  This time is critical though, it really is.  It's critical to keep your dignity and not look like a blubbering love sick school girl.  If you are hoping to get him back, what you do right now will determine this.  You don't want to be out of control, it shows you in a very unattractive light.  My friend Nicole Gayle described it best in her book "How to go from girlfriend to wife".

You may have had hopes of him being the one and really enjoyed being with
him but you must take what he says to you seriously and do not become a
Drama Queen. EVER! Your secret weapon: joy, lots and lots of it.
You don't have time to wallow in self pity. Pick yourself up, even if you
have to do so by your bra strap and don't listen to any well meaning advice
that you should give him time, try to remain friends, or contact him. This is
not in your best interest because you should never beg a man to reconsider.
That's not being smart!

You don't want to appear weak because people don't respond very well to
desperate acts. If you've ever watched the bachelor, you'll know what I
mean. This is beneath you. When a man starts telling you that he is no
longer into you, he means it. You must remain calm and together. Don't
ever break down by starting to cry in front of him but remain in control and
act like it's totally OK with you - deal with your feelings after. Break down
and let it all out after you've turned your back. What he wants to hear is that
you can handle yourself like a lady not buckets and buckets of rain.
When you're able to get some perspective, you'll be proud that you were
strong and didn't fall apart. You'll feel good about how you handled it
instead of having a criminal record of holding a man hostage to you.
My girlfriends' relationship with a co-worker didn't work out and she found
it difficult because it ended unresolved. She was raging angry but she didn't
show it when she would go to work. After a couple of weeks of reflection,
she came to the realization that knowing her personal self worth and value
was the key.

She decided to not allow a man, opinions, or circumstances to define who
she is as a woman. This level of enlightenment caused her to begin to
pamper herself by going out on the town, to the spa, getting her hair done,
and new clothes. And she told me that the best thing that could have ever
happened was to bump into him looking like a Fox. That day she was hot
and she knew it. As a matter of fact when she saw him at the elevator it was
a showdown - her chance to strut her stuff. They locked eyes, he checked
her out, and when she did the cat walk straight towards him while being
happy like she just won a million bucks, he suddenly lost his confidence
[BOOM].

He tried to make small talk and she thought she'd stop but she looked down
and saw that her legs kept walking. She walked away with her power and he
was left there drooling.
P.S. That's how you should handle a breakup

Regardless if you want him back, your dignity and grace is what he will remember.  Drama will only reinforce that breaking up with you was in fact the right decision.  The only way to get yourself under control is to go into no contact.  Not texts, no calls, no smoke signals.  He has to feel the loss of you.  If you stay in contact, he won't have time to miss you at all.  It just adds more pressure and more guilt to him.  If you think guilt will work in any way at all, you are sadly mistaken.  Hold onto your dignity woman, it's the only way to come out on top of this break up.

If you want live free support with No Contact go here, if you want him back, go here. for the ultimate plan now before you blow it.

Why Your Ex Won't Talk To You

If you have just been broken up with by your boyfriend you are probably climbing the walls.  You have so many why questions and you want answers.  You call, he ignores.  You text, he ignores.  Not even a smoke signal.  Why?

Because he doesn't know what to say to you.  He knows anything he says will likely turn into another question.  He knows he can't make you feel better unless he tells you he wants you back. Nothing he says will change anything and all it does is make him feel bad.  You may want to make him feel bad.  It solves nothing.  It won't get him back.

I was granted a closure conversation when my boyfriend broke up with me once upon a time.  All it did was piss me off.  In hindsight, it was because he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear.  Just told me the same old thing over and over.  It's not you, it's me he kept saying.  I don't know what I want he kept saying.  Now I know that wasn't all of the truth.  He knew what he didn't want, let's put it that way, or at the time thought he did.

Had I just gracefully exited the relationship and just left him alone things may have turned out different, who knows.  Instead I wanted to talk talk talk about it.  By talking about it so much, I created a sense of dread in him.  Anytime I called or made contact, he probably got to the point of rolling his eyes and saying, oh no, not again.  Do I have to rehash this all over again.

Trust me, if you have just been dumped, you will earn a lot more respect by going in no contact and letting him feel the loss of you.  A man won't feel like he lost you if you stay in contact.  Then if you still think you want him back, you will be in a better place in his eyes to recreate what was lost.  If his last memory of you is groveling, it won't be pretty.  Let his last memory of you be of respect.  Keep your dignity, don't lose it by insisting on talking to him.  Trust me, at this point, he very well may not want to talk.  Give him time.

Does He Want Me Back

Our emotions are the one thing that plays the tricks on you. You hope he wants you back so of course you hold onto that little glimmer of hope. He wouldn't be calling or making random contact if he didn't want you back right? Not necessarily. Men will make contact for many reasons. Guilt being one.

They may feel bad for the pain they caused and by calling you or whatever it is he is doing to make you think he may want you back, it eases his pain. He feels better because he thinks it makes you feel better. He does not have your best interest at heart here if this is the case. This is a selfish act on his part.

If there was a break up, he is probably hurt also, just not to the degree that you are if he is the one that broke up with you. Men often stay in touch not because he wants you back, but it eases his pain and his transition back into the dating world. This is when the critical awful thing often happens. He meets someone else and you are left wondering why, when he stayed in touch. Answer, you made it easier for him by accepting his contact.

It takes me more time to process a break up than it does women. Men often sweep it under the rug. They move on in a sort of denial. Women grieve fast and hard. This is why it is so common to hear about men returning months later, some even years to find the woman has moved on and he is not longer in her thoughts. If you want him back, it's critical to stay in no contact with him during this stage and hope he doesn't take too long to figure it out.

If he is still wanting to sleep with you or have sex, this does not mean he wants you back. It means he wants his cake and eat it too. Freedom. If you want him back, don't have sex with him, this is a fatal mistake. It tells him you will accept the relationship on his terms and hopefully you are a self respecting woman who will not accept crumbs from him. Hopefully it's all or none for you. This attitude draws a man back in believe it or not.
If you don't know if he wants you back or not, chances are good he doesn't know this either. A man that wants you back will stop at nothing to get you back. There will not be lame attempts, only crystal clear signals and forward actions. If you want to make him want you back, pay attention to his signals.

If you want him to want you back, how you handle the break up will make or break it. Many women unknowingly drive their men away and are left down the road wondering what some other woman has what she doesn't.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6496031

How Does No Contact Work

You can watch the video above to find out how no contact works.  No contact gives you time to calm your emotions.  If you break up is fresh, your emotions are all over the place.  From anger to pain and everything and anything in between. 

When your emotions are raw, you just can't think logically and you will make decisions and mistakes that you will regret.  Your heart will lead you astray in this emotional state and you are likely to kill any chance you have of getting back together with your ex.

If you want a true understanding of how no contact works and how it could be your only chance to get your ex back, you may want to check out Bob Grant's book here. 

Why Did He Leave Me

I have heard many women ask me why did he leave me. They then wonder how he can just turn his feelings off like a light switch. I get it, it does seem this way. It's hard to see the why of it when your emotions are wrapped so tight into the pain of his leaving.

Now there are many reasons why men leave, but there are two that more times than not are at the root cause of why he left. Men don't just up and decide to leave. If he left you, he has probably had it in the back of his mind for sometime and just put off the inevitable, breaking up with you.

The first reason is women creating too much drama for him or trying to change him. Maybe you were accusing to him by telling him he never does this or that anymore. Maybe you gave him a hard time when he wanted to spend time with friends instead of you. This starts to make a man feel untrusted and men must feel trusted to thrive in a relationship. If you were giving him a lot of lip service in the form of nagging or whining, he sees it as you trying to change him. This over time wears a man down and he starts to feel less of a man. Not good.

Men tune out the drama. You can bet if you gave him lip service, he wasn't hearing your words. Men respond to actions and distance. Lip service is a waste and only drives him further away. If you are saying why did he leave me, you may want to think about how you contributed to this decision.

Another way women create drama is by believe it or not giving too much. It makes a man feel a sense of obligation when a woman is too good to him. She gives and gives and he sees it as her seeking security with him and not within herself. A woman that gives too much almost always loses the man.

The second top reason is not going to make you feel any better but there is a truth in it almost always. He has had someone else spark up his interest or he is thinking that there is someone else out there who can. Yes it's thoughts of another woman, whether she is real or someone he thinks is still out there. The grass is greener concept. He is still searching for the one and he is convinced it is not you.

Tough pill to swallow, but rarely do men just leave for no reason. Men don't leave because they are jerks although it often feels this way. If you are wondering why did he leave me, it's rarely for no reason.

Don't be the woman that writes to me telling me her man ex is now marrying another woman. If you want him back, you best take action before this happens. You can find out the dynamics of how to get his attraction back here.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6438883

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

If you have broken up with you boyfriend, been dumped or left, you probably feel desperate and want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back.  It's normal.  It's also easier said than done.  If you are in pain, your emotions are going to cloud your judgment and may cause you to do things counter productive to getting back in his good graces.  Things like texting, calling, asking questions, trying to persuade and convince him.  These things do not work.  They only make you look like a love sick school girl.  Stop these things right now or you will blow it for good. He will start to think of you as drama queen.

The best thing to do is disappear.  Yes if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, disappearing is the best way.  When you remove yourself from his life, his imagination goes to work for you.  He starts to wonder why isn't she upset?  Why isn't she calling trying to get me back?  Has she already met someone else?  Is she over me?

You see these sort of thoughts do something to a man.  It makes him question his decision.  It also increases your value in his eyes.  He starts to see you as a stronger woman in control of her emotions.  A woman who does not sit around and pine over her ex.  If he thinks you are moving on, he stops in his tracts and wonders what is he missing here.

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, vanishing on him is your best bet.  Chances are good he will reach out from sheer curiosity.  This is your opportunity.  When he reaches out, depending on how or what he says, respond with no nonsense.  Don't bring up the past, don't ask him questions.  Cut the call or text short and give him no drama.  He won't be expecting this and it will send his imagination into work mode again.  He will also feel safe to contact you again because you just showed him you are drama free.

This method does not work overnight.  If you are looking to get him back instantly, forget it.  This could take a month, two months.  Is he worth it?  You decide.  There is a more detailed plan for getting your ex boyfriend back here.

If you Just Got Dumped

Break ups suck.  If you are going through one, well my heart goes out to you.  I read two e-books that really put it all into perspective and gave me peace of mind. I will share them with you.  Also there is a break up support group here and it is absolutely free.  365daysoflove

Get Your Ex Back


Why He Disappeared