Does He Want Me Back

Our emotions are the one thing that plays the tricks on you. You hope he wants you back so of course you hold onto that little glimmer of hope. He wouldn't be calling or making random contact if he didn't want you back right? Not necessarily. Men will make contact for many reasons. Guilt being one.

They may feel bad for the pain they caused and by calling you or whatever it is he is doing to make you think he may want you back, it eases his pain. He feels better because he thinks it makes you feel better. He does not have your best interest at heart here if this is the case. This is a selfish act on his part.

If there was a break up, he is probably hurt also, just not to the degree that you are if he is the one that broke up with you. Men often stay in touch not because he wants you back, but it eases his pain and his transition back into the dating world. This is when the critical awful thing often happens. He meets someone else and you are left wondering why, when he stayed in touch. Answer, you made it easier for him by accepting his contact.

It takes me more time to process a break up than it does women. Men often sweep it under the rug. They move on in a sort of denial. Women grieve fast and hard. This is why it is so common to hear about men returning months later, some even years to find the woman has moved on and he is not longer in her thoughts. If you want him back, it's critical to stay in no contact with him during this stage and hope he doesn't take too long to figure it out.

If he is still wanting to sleep with you or have sex, this does not mean he wants you back. It means he wants his cake and eat it too. Freedom. If you want him back, don't have sex with him, this is a fatal mistake. It tells him you will accept the relationship on his terms and hopefully you are a self respecting woman who will not accept crumbs from him. Hopefully it's all or none for you. This attitude draws a man back in believe it or not.
If you don't know if he wants you back or not, chances are good he doesn't know this either. A man that wants you back will stop at nothing to get you back. There will not be lame attempts, only crystal clear signals and forward actions. If you want to make him want you back, pay attention to his signals.

If you want him to want you back, how you handle the break up will make or break it. Many women unknowingly drive their men away and are left down the road wondering what some other woman has what she doesn't.

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How Does No Contact Work

You can watch the video above to find out how no contact works.  No contact gives you time to calm your emotions.  If you break up is fresh, your emotions are all over the place.  From anger to pain and everything and anything in between. 

When your emotions are raw, you just can't think logically and you will make decisions and mistakes that you will regret.  Your heart will lead you astray in this emotional state and you are likely to kill any chance you have of getting back together with your ex.

If you want a true understanding of how no contact works and how it could be your only chance to get your ex back, you may want to check out Bob Grant's book here. 

Why Did He Leave Me

I have heard many women ask me why did he leave me. They then wonder how he can just turn his feelings off like a light switch. I get it, it does seem this way. It's hard to see the why of it when your emotions are wrapped so tight into the pain of his leaving.

Now there are many reasons why men leave, but there are two that more times than not are at the root cause of why he left. Men don't just up and decide to leave. If he left you, he has probably had it in the back of his mind for sometime and just put off the inevitable, breaking up with you.

The first reason is women creating too much drama for him or trying to change him. Maybe you were accusing to him by telling him he never does this or that anymore. Maybe you gave him a hard time when he wanted to spend time with friends instead of you. This starts to make a man feel untrusted and men must feel trusted to thrive in a relationship. If you were giving him a lot of lip service in the form of nagging or whining, he sees it as you trying to change him. This over time wears a man down and he starts to feel less of a man. Not good.

Men tune out the drama. You can bet if you gave him lip service, he wasn't hearing your words. Men respond to actions and distance. Lip service is a waste and only drives him further away. If you are saying why did he leave me, you may want to think about how you contributed to this decision.

Another way women create drama is by believe it or not giving too much. It makes a man feel a sense of obligation when a woman is too good to him. She gives and gives and he sees it as her seeking security with him and not within herself. A woman that gives too much almost always loses the man.

The second top reason is not going to make you feel any better but there is a truth in it almost always. He has had someone else spark up his interest or he is thinking that there is someone else out there who can. Yes it's thoughts of another woman, whether she is real or someone he thinks is still out there. The grass is greener concept. He is still searching for the one and he is convinced it is not you.

Tough pill to swallow, but rarely do men just leave for no reason. Men don't leave because they are jerks although it often feels this way. If you are wondering why did he leave me, it's rarely for no reason.

Don't be the woman that writes to me telling me her man ex is now marrying another woman. If you want him back, you best take action before this happens. You can find out the dynamics of how to get his attraction back here.

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How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

If you have broken up with you boyfriend, been dumped or left, you probably feel desperate and want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back.  It's normal.  It's also easier said than done.  If you are in pain, your emotions are going to cloud your judgment and may cause you to do things counter productive to getting back in his good graces.  Things like texting, calling, asking questions, trying to persuade and convince him.  These things do not work.  They only make you look like a love sick school girl.  Stop these things right now or you will blow it for good. He will start to think of you as drama queen.

The best thing to do is disappear.  Yes if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, disappearing is the best way.  When you remove yourself from his life, his imagination goes to work for you.  He starts to wonder why isn't she upset?  Why isn't she calling trying to get me back?  Has she already met someone else?  Is she over me?

You see these sort of thoughts do something to a man.  It makes him question his decision.  It also increases your value in his eyes.  He starts to see you as a stronger woman in control of her emotions.  A woman who does not sit around and pine over her ex.  If he thinks you are moving on, he stops in his tracts and wonders what is he missing here.

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, vanishing on him is your best bet.  Chances are good he will reach out from sheer curiosity.  This is your opportunity.  When he reaches out, depending on how or what he says, respond with no nonsense.  Don't bring up the past, don't ask him questions.  Cut the call or text short and give him no drama.  He won't be expecting this and it will send his imagination into work mode again.  He will also feel safe to contact you again because you just showed him you are drama free.

This method does not work overnight.  If you are looking to get him back instantly, forget it.  This could take a month, two months.  Is he worth it?  You decide.  There is a more detailed plan for getting your ex boyfriend back here.

If you Just Got Dumped

Break ups suck.  If you are going through one, well my heart goes out to you.  I read two e-books that really put it all into perspective and gave me peace of mind. I will share them with you.  Also there is a break up support group here and it is absolutely free.  365daysoflove

Get Your Ex Back


Why He Disappeared

Getting Over a Break Up Support

If your boyfriend just broke up with you, you are probably just a hot mess. You can't sleep, you can't eat and you are just miserable. The same thoughts keep running through your mind over and over. You replay the last days, weeks and even months over and over in your mind, driving yourself crazy. Getting over a break up is so exhausting and painful.

Your friends have probably heard enough. True they are there for you and it's all great, but you know and they know you sound like a broken record. You keep asking why and you enlist their help to help you understand it all. You sometimes feel you will never be getting over a break up.

Thing is, you still don't understand it all. There are nights you are probably all alone with nothing but your thoughts to drive you crazy. You hate to call someone up because you know at this point, you suck at conversation. Where can you go, what can you do.

This happened to me in June of 2009. I landed on a women's forum. I read for a while, then I joined and started posting. I created a thread there called No Contact Support. Hundreds of women joined me there. The forum was recently shut down. Another heart break for me. I was shut off from all of those fabulous women who now could use my knowledge on getting over a break up.

I couldn't stand it, I created my own site with a forum so that I could continue the over 12,000 posts. I contacted all of the ladies and they followed me. When you are getting over a break up, you don't have to go at it alone. We are here.

If you are looking for a place to land and some fabulous support from women who have and still are going through what you are going through, please join us here. We would welcome you, comfort you and listen to you ask why over and over with no complaints. We would love to have you. You can find it here. We will take you beyond the break up.

My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me But He Keeps Calling and Texting

Oh the agony, when a boyfriend broke up with you but still texts and calls. It leaves you in limbo land. It gives you hope. It makes you think he misses you and may be thinking of getting back together.

It's pretty common though when a boyfriend breaks up to try to remain in contact with you. It's his way of easing his guilt. It's also a way of easing his pain. He does probably feel some pain, and by talking and communicating with you, it soothes him, yet he doesn't have to get back together.

Not fair at all is it. While you are easing his pain, you are also making your boyfriend's transition into the single life easier. He doesn't have to feel the loss of you all at one time. He can ease in, like you ease into a cold body of water.

Everytime you talk to him, it leaves you feeling empty and helpless. You don't know to be sad or glad. He talked to you so he must be thinking about you, but yet he makes no moves to get back together. This is just prolonging your healing and makiing your transitiion harder.

If you want to get him back, talking to him isn't going to do it. That's like him telling you "I promised you an entire chocolate cake, but it turns out all I have to give is crumbs". By accepting his crumbs you are telling him it's okay, you will settle for less when you really want more.

This will not get him back. To get him back you have to tap into his pain. He has to feel it. By talking to him, you buffer his pain. He moves forward and he has you to talk to when he is lonely and bored.

There are ways to tap into his pain, there are ways to rekindle his love and get him back. One of the best plans that I have followed with success is here.