Why Did He Leave Me

I have heard many women ask me why did he leave me. They then wonder how he can just turn his feelings off like a light switch. I get it, it does seem this way. It's hard to see the why of it when your emotions are wrapped so tight into the pain of his leaving.

Now there are many reasons why men leave, but there are two that more times than not are at the root cause of why he left. Men don't just up and decide to leave. If he left you, he has probably had it in the back of his mind for sometime and just put off the inevitable, breaking up with you.

The first reason is women creating too much drama for him or trying to change him. Maybe you were accusing to him by telling him he never does this or that anymore. Maybe you gave him a hard time when he wanted to spend time with friends instead of you. This starts to make a man feel untrusted and men must feel trusted to thrive in a relationship. If you were giving him a lot of lip service in the form of nagging or whining, he sees it as you trying to change him. This over time wears a man down and he starts to feel less of a man. Not good.

Men tune out the drama. You can bet if you gave him lip service, he wasn't hearing your words. Men respond to actions and distance. Lip service is a waste and only drives him further away. If you are saying why did he leave me, you may want to think about how you contributed to this decision.

Another way women create drama is by believe it or not giving too much. It makes a man feel a sense of obligation when a woman is too good to him. She gives and gives and he sees it as her seeking security with him and not within herself. A woman that gives too much almost always loses the man.

The second top reason is not going to make you feel any better but there is a truth in it almost always. He has had someone else spark up his interest or he is thinking that there is someone else out there who can. Yes it's thoughts of another woman, whether she is real or someone he thinks is still out there. The grass is greener concept. He is still searching for the one and he is convinced it is not you.

Tough pill to swallow, but rarely do men just leave for no reason. Men don't leave because they are jerks although it often feels this way. If you are wondering why did he leave me, it's rarely for no reason.

Don't be the woman that writes to me telling me her man ex is now marrying another woman. If you want him back, you best take action before this happens. You can find out the dynamics of how to get his attraction back here.

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How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

If you have broken up with you boyfriend, been dumped or left, you probably feel desperate and want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back.  It's normal.  It's also easier said than done.  If you are in pain, your emotions are going to cloud your judgment and may cause you to do things counter productive to getting back in his good graces.  Things like texting, calling, asking questions, trying to persuade and convince him.  These things do not work.  They only make you look like a love sick school girl.  Stop these things right now or you will blow it for good. He will start to think of you as drama queen.

The best thing to do is disappear.  Yes if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, disappearing is the best way.  When you remove yourself from his life, his imagination goes to work for you.  He starts to wonder why isn't she upset?  Why isn't she calling trying to get me back?  Has she already met someone else?  Is she over me?

You see these sort of thoughts do something to a man.  It makes him question his decision.  It also increases your value in his eyes.  He starts to see you as a stronger woman in control of her emotions.  A woman who does not sit around and pine over her ex.  If he thinks you are moving on, he stops in his tracts and wonders what is he missing here.

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, vanishing on him is your best bet.  Chances are good he will reach out from sheer curiosity.  This is your opportunity.  When he reaches out, depending on how or what he says, respond with no nonsense.  Don't bring up the past, don't ask him questions.  Cut the call or text short and give him no drama.  He won't be expecting this and it will send his imagination into work mode again.  He will also feel safe to contact you again because you just showed him you are drama free.

This method does not work overnight.  If you are looking to get him back instantly, forget it.  This could take a month, two months.  Is he worth it?  You decide.  There is a more detailed plan for getting your ex boyfriend back here.

If you Just Got Dumped

Break ups suck.  If you are going through one, well my heart goes out to you.  I read two e-books that really put it all into perspective and gave me peace of mind. I will share them with you.  Also there is a break up support group here and it is absolutely free.  365daysoflove

Get Your Ex Back


Why He Disappeared

Getting Over a Break Up Support

If your boyfriend just broke up with you, you are probably just a hot mess. You can't sleep, you can't eat and you are just miserable. The same thoughts keep running through your mind over and over. You replay the last days, weeks and even months over and over in your mind, driving yourself crazy. Getting over a break up is so exhausting and painful.

Your friends have probably heard enough. True they are there for you and it's all great, but you know and they know you sound like a broken record. You keep asking why and you enlist their help to help you understand it all. You sometimes feel you will never be getting over a break up.

Thing is, you still don't understand it all. There are nights you are probably all alone with nothing but your thoughts to drive you crazy. You hate to call someone up because you know at this point, you suck at conversation. Where can you go, what can you do.

This happened to me in June of 2009. I landed on a women's forum. I read for a while, then I joined and started posting. I created a thread there called No Contact Support. Hundreds of women joined me there. The forum was recently shut down. Another heart break for me. I was shut off from all of those fabulous women who now could use my knowledge on getting over a break up.

I couldn't stand it, I created my own site with a forum so that I could continue the over 12,000 posts. I contacted all of the ladies and they followed me. When you are getting over a break up, you don't have to go at it alone. We are here.

If you are looking for a place to land and some fabulous support from women who have and still are going through what you are going through, please join us here. We would welcome you, comfort you and listen to you ask why over and over with no complaints. We would love to have you. You can find it here. We will take you beyond the break up.

My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me But He Keeps Calling and Texting

Oh the agony, when a boyfriend broke up with you but still texts and calls. It leaves you in limbo land. It gives you hope. It makes you think he misses you and may be thinking of getting back together.

It's pretty common though when a boyfriend breaks up to try to remain in contact with you. It's his way of easing his guilt. It's also a way of easing his pain. He does probably feel some pain, and by talking and communicating with you, it soothes him, yet he doesn't have to get back together.

Not fair at all is it. While you are easing his pain, you are also making your boyfriend's transition into the single life easier. He doesn't have to feel the loss of you all at one time. He can ease in, like you ease into a cold body of water.

Everytime you talk to him, it leaves you feeling empty and helpless. You don't know to be sad or glad. He talked to you so he must be thinking about you, but yet he makes no moves to get back together. This is just prolonging your healing and makiing your transitiion harder.

If you want to get him back, talking to him isn't going to do it. That's like him telling you "I promised you an entire chocolate cake, but it turns out all I have to give is crumbs". By accepting his crumbs you are telling him it's okay, you will settle for less when you really want more.

This will not get him back. To get him back you have to tap into his pain. He has to feel it. By talking to him, you buffer his pain. He moves forward and he has you to talk to when he is lonely and bored.

There are ways to tap into his pain, there are ways to rekindle his love and get him back. One of the best plans that I have followed with success is here.

If Your Boyfriend Wants to Take a Break

First off it your guy says he wants a break, chances are good something isn't feeling right. It could be a number of things. He may feel smothered, he may feel you are clinging too tightly. If your guy wants a break though, first thing you have to do is gracefully give it to him. You don't want to bombard him with questions like why, how long, etc...

If you bombard him with questions, and hold on tighter, well he is going to see you as clingy. This just reinforces why he probably wants the break in the first place. Asking questions just pushes him away. It offers him reinforcement of why he wants to take a break.

Another thing that asking questions such as "How long of a break do you need?", you are showing yourself in an unfavorable light and yes you just may lose him forever. This lets him know for sure that you will do anything to keep him and he has the power in the relationship and has full say in dictating the terms of your relationship.

When your boyfriend wants a break, why should you be the one sitting and waiting for him to make up his mind? It's really not fair to you. Think about this. Have you ever decided you wanted to break up with a guy before, but were riddled with guilt so you let him down gently. You yourself may have said those words, I need a break, just to buy yourself some time to figure out how to dump him and feel less guilt. More times than not, this is exactly what is happening.

If you want to reverse this break up in the makings, you have to let him go. No pleading, begging, asking why why why. This just shows insecurity and kills what little attraction he has left for you. You tell him you understand and will respect his wishes, but aren't comfortable in limbo land and that you too will take advantage of the break to decide what you want as well.

Talk about turning the tables. Now who is drifting out of reach? You are. This does a strange thing to a man. It earns his respect and often after a few weeks, he starts to wonder what you are doing and why all of a sudden you are alright without him. It earns his respect because you put your own well being before his.

There is nothing more of a burden to a man than you putting him first. It's really a turn off for a man, he sees you as a doormat. This puts the responsibility of your happiness on him and it's really just too much. If you have made a man the center of your universe, it's no wonder he wants a break.

Bottom line here, let him take his break and you take yours. Respect his request, because if you don't, in a way you are telling him you really don't care what he wants, it's all about what you want. This is disrespectful when you really think about it. If your boyfriend wants to take a break, don't waste your time using words to stop him. Men just don't respond to words. It's actions and distance that melts the ice in their heart.

If your boyfriend wants a break, chances really are more likely that he is thinking of permanent. A committed man will not leave you to take a break. If he wants a break, more often that not a break up is about to follow. Get ready girl.

To turn this break around and not lose your man, it's critical to be prepared. If you don't want to lose him to another or forever, get your plan together now.

If You Want Him Back - Why You Can't Be His Friend

If your man just broke up with you, the missing him is agonizing. You just want to talk to him, hear his voice. You will settle for a friendly talk just to ease your pain. First off contact with an ex is detrimental to ever getting back together, but that is another topic. If you talk to him, be his friend, you are actually easing his transition and making yours harder. If you want him back, you must not be his friend now let me explain why.

I know a woman who insisted that if she remained friends with her ex, he would eventually see the error of his ways. He would realize how great she really was and come back to her. So they remained friends, for about 2 months that is. He felt comfortable that she was ok, and he moved forward with his life. Two months into this friendship, guess what? He is dating someone new and it seems pretty serious. Being his friend backfired, she didn't get her man back.

All this woman did was ease his transition and help him move forward easily. He never had the opportunity to miss her. He ended the romance, but she remained his friend, thus he never felt the loss. To get a man back, he has to feel the pain and the loss. This doesn't usually happen right away with men. It takes a while, they process a break up differently.

So since he never felt the pain or loss, he never missed her because she was right there, his loyal friend. Wow, the best of both worlds. He can keep the old girlfriend as a friend and seek a new exciting romance with another. This happens almost every time you remain friends with an ex.

Look at it like this. He dumped you. He made his bed. Now there you are making it all comfortable for him. It's like giving him an extra pillow, extra blankets, making him warm and cozy in this new bed of freedom he made. Why on earth would he leave it and come back to you. He won't. This is no way to get your man back.

If a man dumps you but wants to remain friends or if you think being his friend will get him back, think again. It's like telling him it's fine to dump you, and it really isn't. He gave up the right to have you as a friend, he gave up all rights to you when he tossed your heart aside. He made his bed, if you want him back, let him lie in it and feel the loss completely. If you want him back, stay away from being his friend.

What you do and don't do after a break up is critical. If you want any snowballs chance of getting him back, you must read this. Bob Grant Ex Back.