Thursday, July 21, 2011

Why Did He Leave Me

I have heard many women ask me why did he leave me. They then wonder how he can just turn his feelings off like a light switch. I get it, it does seem this way. It's hard to see the why of it when your emotions are wrapped so tight into the pain of his leaving.

Now there are many reasons why men leave, but there are two that more times than not are at the root cause of why he left. Men don't just up and decide to leave. If he left you, he has probably had it in the back of his mind for sometime and just put off the inevitable, breaking up with you.

The first reason is women creating too much drama for him or trying to change him. Maybe you were accusing to him by telling him he never does this or that anymore. Maybe you gave him a hard time when he wanted to spend time with friends instead of you. This starts to make a man feel untrusted and men must feel trusted to thrive in a relationship. If you were giving him a lot of lip service in the form of nagging or whining, he sees it as you trying to change him. This over time wears a man down and he starts to feel less of a man. Not good.

Men tune out the drama. You can bet if you gave him lip service, he wasn't hearing your words. Men respond to actions and distance. Lip service is a waste and only drives him further away. If you are saying why did he leave me, you may want to think about how you contributed to this decision.

Another way women create drama is by believe it or not giving too much. It makes a man feel a sense of obligation when a woman is too good to him. She gives and gives and he sees it as her seeking security with him and not within herself. A woman that gives too much almost always loses the man.

The second top reason is not going to make you feel any better but there is a truth in it almost always. He has had someone else spark up his interest or he is thinking that there is someone else out there who can. Yes it's thoughts of another woman, whether she is real or someone he thinks is still out there. The grass is greener concept. He is still searching for the one and he is convinced it is not you.

Tough pill to swallow, but rarely do men just leave for no reason. Men don't leave because they are jerks although it often feels this way. If you are wondering why did he leave me, it's rarely for no reason.

Don't be the woman that writes to me telling me her man ex is now marrying another woman. If you want him back, you best take action before this happens. You can find out the dynamics of how to get his attraction back here.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6438883

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

If you have broken up with you boyfriend, been dumped or left, you probably feel desperate and want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back.  It's normal.  It's also easier said than done.  If you are in pain, your emotions are going to cloud your judgment and may cause you to do things counter productive to getting back in his good graces.  Things like texting, calling, asking questions, trying to persuade and convince him.  These things do not work.  They only make you look like a love sick school girl.  Stop these things right now or you will blow it for good. He will start to think of you as drama queen.

The best thing to do is disappear.  Yes if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, disappearing is the best way.  When you remove yourself from his life, his imagination goes to work for you.  He starts to wonder why isn't she upset?  Why isn't she calling trying to get me back?  Has she already met someone else?  Is she over me?

You see these sort of thoughts do something to a man.  It makes him question his decision.  It also increases your value in his eyes.  He starts to see you as a stronger woman in control of her emotions.  A woman who does not sit around and pine over her ex.  If he thinks you are moving on, he stops in his tracts and wonders what is he missing here.

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, vanishing on him is your best bet.  Chances are good he will reach out from sheer curiosity.  This is your opportunity.  When he reaches out, depending on how or what he says, respond with no nonsense.  Don't bring up the past, don't ask him questions.  Cut the call or text short and give him no drama.  He won't be expecting this and it will send his imagination into work mode again.  He will also feel safe to contact you again because you just showed him you are drama free.

This method does not work overnight.  If you are looking to get him back instantly, forget it.  This could take a month, two months.  Is he worth it?  You decide.  There is a more detailed plan for getting your ex boyfriend back here.