Below is an excerpt from Evan Marc Katz, the bomb in dating coaches.
If you've ever held onto a relationship for too long...
If you've ever been in love with a man who didn't love you in return...
If you've ever had that nagging thought, "How do I get him back?"...
This email is for you.
And if you want a deeper understanding of Why He Disappeared, please check out my eBook and watch years of pain dissipate within minutes:
Why He Disappeared!
I invite you to think of the last time you were emotionally invested in a man.
It could have been a promising prospect you met online, it could have been your boyfriend of five months, it could have been your fiancé.
The common denominator is that this man, who took your breath away and gave you hope, ultimately left you.
I know how it feels. Most people do. You stake your dreams on the integrity of your relationship, only to find out that he had eyes for someone else, that he had major issues with you, or that wasn't ready to commit to you.
This can be devastating. It can make you mistrustful. It can make you lose faith. It can stop you from dating entirely.
But the hardest part is how, far too often, you never quite get over him.
Because you weren't the one who ended things, your feelings remained as strong after you were dumped as they were before you were dumped. It makes perfect sense. He might have broken up with you, but that doesn't mean you love him any less.
This exact scenario happened recently with my client, Wanda, who was still recovering from a short relationship with a man she met on JDate.
They had gotten physical after 5 dates, took down their profiles, and gave an exclusive relationship a shot. Two and a half months later, he broke things off. Said he wasn't feeling what he thought he should be feeling. Said it wasn't her fault. Said he wanted to remain friends.
So Wanda has remained friends with her ex - and has remained in love with him as well.
Needless to say, it's extremely hard for her to move on. Every new man gets unfavorably compared to the ex. It's not that she's wrong; Wanda can't help herself. She felt that dizzy, passionate, "in love" feeling, and even though the ex is gone, the feeling still lingers.
But should it?
Hell, no!
Wanda's is wondering about how to get him back. She's hoping that their friendship turns back into a relationship. She's "dating" but not really giving herself to the process.
In other words, she is pining for the return of a man who does not love her unconditionally.
Talk about a bad plan. Then again, you've probably done the same thing. If you're still holding onto a man from your past, my eBook, Why He Disappeared will show you how to instantly let go:
Why He Disappeared!
But let me ask you: don't you think your future husband should love you unconditionally? Wouldn't you figure that this should be a pre-condition for any man who's going to spend his life with you? I sure do.
In fact, if I'm building the perfect man, I'm starting there and working backwards:
1. Most important quality: Loves you unconditionally. Will stick by you for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part.
2. Second most important quality: Everything else - height, weight, age, income, education, etc.
Yet all I hear about, over and over, is the amazing, tall, cute, sexy, charismatic, funny, successful guy who breaks your heart when he doesn't want to commit to you.
Well, guess what?
That guy SUCKS!
Your husband DOESN'T leave you.
Your boyfriend's willingness to leave you IS his fundamental flaw.
And you're holding onto an idealized image of him - hoping he comes back.
Why? So when you get him back, he STILL doesn't love you unconditionally?
Face it; your ex isn't as great as you think he is. It's not that he's not a great catch on paper. But in practice, he's a terrible life partner for you for one reason.
He was willing to let you go.
Now it's time for you to let him go.
Same thing with any man who broke your heart in the past. Let him go.
Only then can you open up to true love - the kind that endures forever.
Why He Disappeared!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
7 Break Up Mistakes You Don't Want to Make
When going through a break up, your emotions are on over drive and you just aren't logical. This is when women make critical mistakes in a break up. We often turn into crazy women and later on are appalled at our own behavior. Save yourself, don't make these mistakes.
1. Begging or trying to convince him to stay. This is so unattractive and you will look needy and pathetic. Keep your mouth shut.
2. Sleep with him. Biggest break up mistake of all. Don't do it girl, please. If he broke up with you, he gave up play ground rights in that instant. Don't let him see that he can still play, only now he can do it for free, he doesn't even have to take you to dinner.
3. Call him. This just gives you a short moment of instant gratification if you even get that. Chances are good he will not tell you what you are longing to hear and you will hurt worse after contact.
4. Staying in touch with mutual friends. Too much temptation and opportunity to find out what is going on in his life. Ignorance right now is bliss.
5. Holding on to his stuff. Pictures, letters, emails, etc..., are just reminders of what was, not what is. Remove these sources of pain. Have a bonfire, throw them in the trash.
6. Online Stalking. Stay away from Social Networking sites. Way too much anguish here. Out of sight, out of mind really, in time that is. This is self destructive behavior at it's finest. Don make this break up mistake.
7. Jumping into a new relationship. You aren't emotionally stable enough to maintain a healthy relationship. He would just be a rebound.
It doesn't matter if you want your ex back or if you just want to heal. Regardless of your desires, none of the above will gain you either. You ex will not see you in a positive light. More than this though,you will eventually feel you have lost your dignity. You want to handle a break up with your pride and dignity in tact.
1. Begging or trying to convince him to stay. This is so unattractive and you will look needy and pathetic. Keep your mouth shut.
2. Sleep with him. Biggest break up mistake of all. Don't do it girl, please. If he broke up with you, he gave up play ground rights in that instant. Don't let him see that he can still play, only now he can do it for free, he doesn't even have to take you to dinner.
3. Call him. This just gives you a short moment of instant gratification if you even get that. Chances are good he will not tell you what you are longing to hear and you will hurt worse after contact.
4. Staying in touch with mutual friends. Too much temptation and opportunity to find out what is going on in his life. Ignorance right now is bliss.
5. Holding on to his stuff. Pictures, letters, emails, etc..., are just reminders of what was, not what is. Remove these sources of pain. Have a bonfire, throw them in the trash.
6. Online Stalking. Stay away from Social Networking sites. Way too much anguish here. Out of sight, out of mind really, in time that is. This is self destructive behavior at it's finest. Don make this break up mistake.
7. Jumping into a new relationship. You aren't emotionally stable enough to maintain a healthy relationship. He would just be a rebound.
It doesn't matter if you want your ex back or if you just want to heal. Regardless of your desires, none of the above will gain you either. You ex will not see you in a positive light. More than this though,you will eventually feel you have lost your dignity. You want to handle a break up with your pride and dignity in tact.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
10 Positive Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
In some break ups it's best to count your losses and move on. Other break ups though seem so pointless. You want your ex back and you are hoping the ex feels the same. Below are some sure signs your ex wants you back and is feeling the same way as you.
1. He shows up at places you used to go to as a couple. If he was truly over you, he would avoid these places at all costs.
2. His Facebook status has some not so up beat status comments. He may be quoting things of a more serious nature. If he is doing this, more than likely he is thinking about your lost relationship
3. He finds excuses to contact you. He saw something that reminded him of you or came across something he thought you would like etc.. This is a sign he doesn't want to let go and your ex wants you back.
4. Steers the conversation to your break up. Openly discusses the issue.
5. Stays in contact with your friends. Asks your friends questions about you and what you are up to.
6. Your ex wants you back if he is probing into who you are seeing, if you are dating.
7. If he starts taking a sudden interest in activities that interest you your ex wants you back. This is a sure sign your ex wants you back
8. He lingers on the phone or hangs around longer than needed in person
9. He talks about his personal accomplishments or ways he is improving. He is trying to impress you.
10. He still uses terms of endearment, like Baby, Honey, Sweetie, etc...
The above signs are not guaranteed. There is always a possibility that he may just want to keep you around for comforts sake or out of habit. If he is however, showing any of the above signs, there is hope.
Getting an ex back is tricky. You need to have a plan and not be winging this. It's important to know how the male mind processes a break up. It's also important that you not let your emotions rule you during this time. A level head and a good plan of action is crucial if you really want to get your ex back
Learn how men process a break up and how he thinks and put your plan in action before it's too late, before he moves on. For more break up advice and getting your ex back techniques click here.
1. He shows up at places you used to go to as a couple. If he was truly over you, he would avoid these places at all costs.
2. His Facebook status has some not so up beat status comments. He may be quoting things of a more serious nature. If he is doing this, more than likely he is thinking about your lost relationship
3. He finds excuses to contact you. He saw something that reminded him of you or came across something he thought you would like etc.. This is a sign he doesn't want to let go and your ex wants you back.
4. Steers the conversation to your break up. Openly discusses the issue.
5. Stays in contact with your friends. Asks your friends questions about you and what you are up to.
6. Your ex wants you back if he is probing into who you are seeing, if you are dating.
7. If he starts taking a sudden interest in activities that interest you your ex wants you back. This is a sure sign your ex wants you back
8. He lingers on the phone or hangs around longer than needed in person
9. He talks about his personal accomplishments or ways he is improving. He is trying to impress you.
10. He still uses terms of endearment, like Baby, Honey, Sweetie, etc...
The above signs are not guaranteed. There is always a possibility that he may just want to keep you around for comforts sake or out of habit. If he is however, showing any of the above signs, there is hope.
Getting an ex back is tricky. You need to have a plan and not be winging this. It's important to know how the male mind processes a break up. It's also important that you not let your emotions rule you during this time. A level head and a good plan of action is crucial if you really want to get your ex back
Learn how men process a break up and how he thinks and put your plan in action before it's too late, before he moves on. For more break up advice and getting your ex back techniques click here.
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