I got an email the other day from a woman who had an ex boyfriend that kept contacting her. He had dumped her, but now was all crying about how bad he missed her. She wanted him back but was still having doubts if she she should take him back or not. If you have never been through this, let me tell you, the second dumping is worse than the first. So yes, she should be cautious.
Before you take him back it would serve you well to find out if this is just coming from a place of selfishness or if he genuinely loves you and wants you back for the right reasons. If his reasons aren't true, it will end again. The term I miss you really is a selfish remark. Especially if the one saying it is the one that caused the other a great deal of pain. The words coming out of his mouth if it's true will be more about you and less about him. He will not be focused on how he misses you, he will be focused on how he hurt you and in making it up to you.
So just because a guy stays in contact and says he misses you does not mean he will make a good partner if you get back together. The opposite would hold true actually. If he has hurt you and you take him back with a few sweet words, it tells him it's not really a big deal to hurt you again. You are laying a foundation for a shaky reunion.
I am convinced after story after story of break ups that land in my inbox that the only way to make it work the second time around is no contact. For both parties. He needs to feel the loss, he really does. You need to take this time to find the value of your heart. He won't appreciate you the second time around if he doesn't feel the value of your heart. He won't know it if you don't show him. Surely your heart is worth more than a few I miss yous is it not?
It would help if you could really understand him and why he disappeared in the first place would it not? Take your time girl.
Before you take him back it would serve you well to find out if this is just coming from a place of selfishness or if he genuinely loves you and wants you back for the right reasons. If his reasons aren't true, it will end again. The term I miss you really is a selfish remark. Especially if the one saying it is the one that caused the other a great deal of pain. The words coming out of his mouth if it's true will be more about you and less about him. He will not be focused on how he misses you, he will be focused on how he hurt you and in making it up to you.
So just because a guy stays in contact and says he misses you does not mean he will make a good partner if you get back together. The opposite would hold true actually. If he has hurt you and you take him back with a few sweet words, it tells him it's not really a big deal to hurt you again. You are laying a foundation for a shaky reunion.
I am convinced after story after story of break ups that land in my inbox that the only way to make it work the second time around is no contact. For both parties. He needs to feel the loss, he really does. You need to take this time to find the value of your heart. He won't appreciate you the second time around if he doesn't feel the value of your heart. He won't know it if you don't show him. Surely your heart is worth more than a few I miss yous is it not?
It would help if you could really understand him and why he disappeared in the first place would it not? Take your time girl.
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