If you have just been broken up with by your boyfriend you are probably climbing the walls. You have so many why questions and you want answers. You call, he ignores. You text, he ignores. Not even a smoke signal. Why?
Because he doesn't know what to say to you. He knows anything he says will likely turn into another question. He knows he can't make you feel better unless he tells you he wants you back. Nothing he says will change anything and all it does is make him feel bad. You may want to make him feel bad. It solves nothing. It won't get him back.
I was granted a closure conversation when my boyfriend broke up with me once upon a time. All it did was piss me off. In hindsight, it was because he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. Just told me the same old thing over and over. It's not you, it's me he kept saying. I don't know what I want he kept saying. Now I know that wasn't all of the truth. He knew what he didn't want, let's put it that way, or at the time thought he did.
Had I just gracefully exited the relationship and just left him alone things may have turned out different, who knows. Instead I wanted to talk talk talk about it. By talking about it so much, I created a sense of dread in him. Anytime I called or made contact, he probably got to the point of rolling his eyes and saying, oh no, not again. Do I have to rehash this all over again.
Trust me, if you have just been dumped, you will earn a lot more respect by going in no contact and letting him feel the loss of you. A man won't feel like he lost you if you stay in contact. Then if you still think you want him back, you will be in a better place in his eyes to recreate what was lost. If his last memory of you is groveling, it won't be pretty. Let his last memory of you be of respect. Keep your dignity, don't lose it by insisting on talking to him. Trust me, at this point, he very well may not want to talk. Give him time.
Because he doesn't know what to say to you. He knows anything he says will likely turn into another question. He knows he can't make you feel better unless he tells you he wants you back. Nothing he says will change anything and all it does is make him feel bad. You may want to make him feel bad. It solves nothing. It won't get him back.
I was granted a closure conversation when my boyfriend broke up with me once upon a time. All it did was piss me off. In hindsight, it was because he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. Just told me the same old thing over and over. It's not you, it's me he kept saying. I don't know what I want he kept saying. Now I know that wasn't all of the truth. He knew what he didn't want, let's put it that way, or at the time thought he did.
Had I just gracefully exited the relationship and just left him alone things may have turned out different, who knows. Instead I wanted to talk talk talk about it. By talking about it so much, I created a sense of dread in him. Anytime I called or made contact, he probably got to the point of rolling his eyes and saying, oh no, not again. Do I have to rehash this all over again.
Trust me, if you have just been dumped, you will earn a lot more respect by going in no contact and letting him feel the loss of you. A man won't feel like he lost you if you stay in contact. Then if you still think you want him back, you will be in a better place in his eyes to recreate what was lost. If his last memory of you is groveling, it won't be pretty. Let his last memory of you be of respect. Keep your dignity, don't lose it by insisting on talking to him. Trust me, at this point, he very well may not want to talk. Give him time.
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